Kerry's latest blunder, reminiscent of the Michael Dukakis Tank mishap.
What is Kerry trying to do, deliberately make himself look like a fool?
He's succeeding very well, though I bet you won't find this photo on any of the liberal news sources.
7.28.2004
More Political Satire
San Carlos, AZ- During a campaign tour of the Apache Nation Wednesday, Democratic
presidential candidate John Kerry said he had a plan to increase every Native American's income by $40,000 a year. Senator Kerry refused repeated requests for details of his plan, however. He also told the Apaches that during his Senate career, he has voted YES 9,637 times for every Indian issue ever introduced.
Before his departure, the Apache Tribe presented the Presidential candidate a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, Running Eagle.
After Kerry left, tribal officials explained that Running Eagle is a bird so full of "do-do" it can't fly.
San Carlos, AZ- During a campaign tour of the Apache Nation Wednesday, Democratic
presidential candidate John Kerry said he had a plan to increase every Native American's income by $40,000 a year. Senator Kerry refused repeated requests for details of his plan, however. He also told the Apaches that during his Senate career, he has voted YES 9,637 times for every Indian issue ever introduced.
Before his departure, the Apache Tribe presented the Presidential candidate a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, Running Eagle.
After Kerry left, tribal officials explained that Running Eagle is a bird so full of "do-do" it can't fly.
7.26.2004
Here's a hilarious "Geen Eggs and Ham" parody of Sandy Berger's Trouseral difficulties.
Really, one would expect a NSA would know how to handle classified documents.
Really, one would expect a NSA would know how to handle classified documents.
I've decided I'm going to be adding more of a polotical focus to my blog.
Purported "Free Speech Zone."
My only comment on free speech zone surrounded with chain link fences and barbed wire?
1984 is here.
Purported "Free Speech Zone."
My only comment on free speech zone surrounded with chain link fences and barbed wire?
1984 is here.
7.25.2004
7.23.2004
My reading list.
I thought I'd publish this list of books I've read in the past few weeks along with a brief sentence about them.
Under Fire, by Colonel Oliver North - A great book about "An American Hero," as he was hailed by the people, this is not a boring documentary of the Iran Contra Scandal, but an intriguing, relatively fast-paced and action filled book about the exploits of a CIA/Marine operative during the Cold War, ending with his abandonement by the administration and subsequent court trial. After reading this, I think he was not to blame. 8/10
The Complete Sherlock Holmes, by Arthur Conan Doyle - One of the greatest fictional detectives, I thoroughly enjoyed every one of the 1200-so pages of this two volume set which contains all the adventures of the famous sleuth. Even though I just read it for the third time, my interest never flagged. Each of the cases is so unique and grotesque that it never becomes repetitive, and the details and characters are very engaging. 10/10
It Doesn't Take a Hero, by General H. Norman Swarzkoff - A detailed auto-biography of the famed commander of Gulf War I. An in-depth look at Army life and culture that will prove interesting to anyone interesting in military history.
Note: It's hard not to envy him when he talks about how he made out with his Italian girlfriend at night in the colussieum when he was 17. ;) 8/10
Every Second Counts, by Lance Armstrong - A good book by a great athlete. It chronicles his life and Tour history since the time he wrote his first book, and gives some very good lessons he's learned from his life. However, I can't say he is a great man, because he did divorce his wife and abandon his family because of his cycling obsession. 7/10
I thought I'd publish this list of books I've read in the past few weeks along with a brief sentence about them.
Under Fire, by Colonel Oliver North - A great book about "An American Hero," as he was hailed by the people, this is not a boring documentary of the Iran Contra Scandal, but an intriguing, relatively fast-paced and action filled book about the exploits of a CIA/Marine operative during the Cold War, ending with his abandonement by the administration and subsequent court trial. After reading this, I think he was not to blame. 8/10
The Complete Sherlock Holmes, by Arthur Conan Doyle - One of the greatest fictional detectives, I thoroughly enjoyed every one of the 1200-so pages of this two volume set which contains all the adventures of the famous sleuth. Even though I just read it for the third time, my interest never flagged. Each of the cases is so unique and grotesque that it never becomes repetitive, and the details and characters are very engaging. 10/10
It Doesn't Take a Hero, by General H. Norman Swarzkoff - A detailed auto-biography of the famed commander of Gulf War I. An in-depth look at Army life and culture that will prove interesting to anyone interesting in military history.
Note: It's hard not to envy him when he talks about how he made out with his Italian girlfriend at night in the colussieum when he was 17. ;) 8/10
Every Second Counts, by Lance Armstrong - A good book by a great athlete. It chronicles his life and Tour history since the time he wrote his first book, and gives some very good lessons he's learned from his life. However, I can't say he is a great man, because he did divorce his wife and abandon his family because of his cycling obsession. 7/10
7.22.2004
Praying at Work
So today at work, I was at the computer printing out some stickers for pre-pack (I'm one of 4 people in the deli who know how to do that), and my boss comes up, and asks me "How are you doing?"
Nothing unusual yet, I know.
-"Fine, and yourself?"
-"OK, sortof. Actually it's all a front. You know how sometimes You have to hide your feelings?"
Whoa.
Timeout.
This is the boss who I hardly ever talk to. The most personal thing we've ever discussed has been where I'm going to college I think.
And now she's telling me that she's having personal problems? Where'd this come from? Am I just the type of guy people know they can trust not to tell anyone?
Resume.
"Having to put on a fake smile for the customers? Yeah, I know the feeling."
And oh boy, do I know that feeling. There have been several days at work were I have been a bit more cheerful than normal to hide myself. But I never told anyone, and I doubt they noticed.
So when I went back to make more stickers I decided I ahd to do something. As I was leaving I turned around and said "I don't know if it'll make you feel any ebtter, but I'll be praying for you."
-"What" (there was alot of background noise, so I couldn't tell if she hadn't heard, or didn't believe her ears)
-"I'll be praying for you."
She said "Thank you." and looked genuinely happy. So I made someone else feel good, ingratiated myself with the boss, and made my religion know all at once. (well, everyone already has noticed my Miraculous Medal, but I guessed I kinda lived it out.)
So anyway, that was kinda cool and weird at the same time.
So today at work, I was at the computer printing out some stickers for pre-pack (I'm one of 4 people in the deli who know how to do that), and my boss comes up, and asks me "How are you doing?"
Nothing unusual yet, I know.
-"Fine, and yourself?"
-"OK, sortof. Actually it's all a front. You know how sometimes You have to hide your feelings?"
Whoa.
Timeout.
This is the boss who I hardly ever talk to. The most personal thing we've ever discussed has been where I'm going to college I think.
And now she's telling me that she's having personal problems? Where'd this come from? Am I just the type of guy people know they can trust not to tell anyone?
Resume.
"Having to put on a fake smile for the customers? Yeah, I know the feeling."
And oh boy, do I know that feeling. There have been several days at work were I have been a bit more cheerful than normal to hide myself. But I never told anyone, and I doubt they noticed.
So when I went back to make more stickers I decided I ahd to do something. As I was leaving I turned around and said "I don't know if it'll make you feel any ebtter, but I'll be praying for you."
-"What" (there was alot of background noise, so I couldn't tell if she hadn't heard, or didn't believe her ears)
-"I'll be praying for you."
She said "Thank you." and looked genuinely happy. So I made someone else feel good, ingratiated myself with the boss, and made my religion know all at once. (well, everyone already has noticed my Miraculous Medal, but I guessed I kinda lived it out.)
So anyway, that was kinda cool and weird at the same time.
7.15.2004
7.12.2004
Back posts...
I've been very busy lately, so I'll be posting some stuff that I haven't had time to write about.
On Friday July 2, Matt, Johnny, Tim, and I went waterskiing on my grandpa's boat on Diamond lake with my dad. Johnny and I got lost (a bit) while getting gas for the boat, while Pop (my grandpa) talked alot about boat engines to Tim and Matt. Tim got the idea that I'm only a genius because my whole family is always talking about laerning stuff like that. Anyway, we got the boat started ok (once my dad found out I had accidentally lipped the "off" switch.), and got under the channel fine with 5 guys on the boat. Usually we only have less than an inch of clearance, but this time we had almost 3. We had to tak it pretty slow anyways.
Seeing as it took me 8 tries to get up last week, I wasn't expecting much from myself this week, but it was rather dissapointing when I didn't get up any of my friest three tires. So I let the other guys have a turn, and none of them did any better.
So my dad got in and showed us how to do it.
After that I got up on the frist try, and actually got outside the wake (I had never done that before). Of course, sisnce I got up on the firs try I could act like a pro and pretend I had just not wanted to embarrass the new guys, but that wasn't quite true.
Tim did very well for his first time, and stayed up for quite a bit. Mat and Johnny both did well too.
And I tried a third time and got up on the frist try again, so I think I'm getting the hang of it.
I've been very busy lately, so I'll be posting some stuff that I haven't had time to write about.
On Friday July 2, Matt, Johnny, Tim, and I went waterskiing on my grandpa's boat on Diamond lake with my dad. Johnny and I got lost (a bit) while getting gas for the boat, while Pop (my grandpa) talked alot about boat engines to Tim and Matt. Tim got the idea that I'm only a genius because my whole family is always talking about laerning stuff like that. Anyway, we got the boat started ok (once my dad found out I had accidentally lipped the "off" switch.), and got under the channel fine with 5 guys on the boat. Usually we only have less than an inch of clearance, but this time we had almost 3. We had to tak it pretty slow anyways.
Seeing as it took me 8 tries to get up last week, I wasn't expecting much from myself this week, but it was rather dissapointing when I didn't get up any of my friest three tires. So I let the other guys have a turn, and none of them did any better.
So my dad got in and showed us how to do it.
After that I got up on the frist try, and actually got outside the wake (I had never done that before). Of course, sisnce I got up on the firs try I could act like a pro and pretend I had just not wanted to embarrass the new guys, but that wasn't quite true.
Tim did very well for his first time, and stayed up for quite a bit. Mat and Johnny both did well too.
And I tried a third time and got up on the frist try again, so I think I'm getting the hang of it.
7.11.2004
A Fun Joke at Work
Today a customer came for an order, and Jason went in back to get it...but I found the order under the counter, and gave it to her. Jason couldn't find the order in hte back (obviously) so he came back and then he couldn't find the customer. Chris and I were trying to keep a straight face when Chris asked what Jason was doing. Jason said in a confused voice, "I'm looking for my customer." We walked away before we burst out laughing. He spent about 15 minutes tring to figure out what happened, and I didn't tell him before I left to go home, so he's probably still wondering.
I'm so mean.
Today a customer came for an order, and Jason went in back to get it...but I found the order under the counter, and gave it to her. Jason couldn't find the order in hte back (obviously) so he came back and then he couldn't find the customer. Chris and I were trying to keep a straight face when Chris asked what Jason was doing. Jason said in a confused voice, "I'm looking for my customer." We walked away before we burst out laughing. He spent about 15 minutes tring to figure out what happened, and I didn't tell him before I left to go home, so he's probably still wondering.
I'm so mean.
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